Hiatus...

I'm sick... *blows tissue*
And no i do NOT have Swine Flu... i repeat NOT. if not i would be dead long long time ago...
Been having this bout of flu for over a month already... when is it gonna get any better? darn~~~
I hate getting sick... it is so not unfair... buuu...
I cant get to eat ice cream anymore! noo~~~
So i would be away from any blogging activities... till i get better... or till exams over...
Exams in mid-June... good luck and all the best to everyone!

signing out...

XoXo,
Amber

Little Updates

Life has been one hell of a roller coaster ride for me lately. Been through ups and downs with my piggy and finally, everything is over. Its true what he said, when you dont have the feel, no matter how hard you try, the magic will never happen. This explains it all: 我们超过了友情,但还不到爱情. We realised what we had for each other is merely an overflowing feeling of friendship, but not heading towards the love direction. I realised that too. I always say i liked him, but when questioned about love and what i will do for him, the answer is unimaginable. Well, i accepted the fact yesterday. After discussing with him face to face in my car, tears everywhere, and lots of comfort. But hey ya, its all over. Im glad that we are still friends. Just that i have to stop thinking too much before it ruins me again. Like they say, 暧昧让人变得贪心,直到等待失去意义. I indeed was too greedy i didnt realise everything was blown out of proportion. But anyways, thanks for the great 6 weeks of my life when im with you. 不能用恨你却不住结局,放遗憾的美丽停在这里... let all the memories stay that beautiful ya? hehe

Now, ive gone bake to baking cakes to relieve stress. Neck problem wouldnt let me tire myself with vigorous badminton sessions with friends. I vomit like everyday, after meals and bad headaches. I'm not pregnant you idiot! Just that my neck bone has been pressing on certain nerves which, haih... inflicts damages on me too. Buu...

Cheesecakey that ive baked on Wednesday night. Now only left a quarter. Crap. My mum gave like a quarter to my aunt coz my cousin simply adores them. I gave 2/3 of a quarter to Paul them (wonder did JH tried it or not), my family alone ate like how many slices i dont know. Sobs... need to bake more!!! Sorry i couldnt give it away to all my friends who requested some coz my parents are just a bunch of pigs. LOL. Ratings for it as good as always =) *smiles*

Life has been sucky lately. I just found out i have a stalker which is pretty eerie. Will dig out more information first. If things seems to be big enough, i might inform parents and head to the police. Otherwise, i hope my friends can settle the nutcrack. A public announcement to you guys out there: Do not be bian tai, i wont fall for that. And dont try to act like someone you are not, im not buying that either. Coz im merely not interested, or i seem to have no confidence at all in myself to have any sort of relationship with anyone right now. So just remain as friends, and if you are really sincere, wait for me to turn 20. Thanks. Thats all. Gee... so thick skin announce this lol. Anyways... just some random update about my life anyways.

Pressure

Tell me where my time went?
Spending it all with you?
Please dont let me fall asleep again...
Dont let me feel empty again.
Coz i fear i might break...
I think i just did.
And i fear i cant take it...
This is the end of me.
I can feel the pressure... its getting closer and closer
Its overwhelming me.
Am i better off without you?
Am i better off without anyone here with me?
Am i better off dead?
Now that im losing hope...
What is there left to show?
Some things i will never know... or understand...
But i have to let them all go.
Im sitting all alone here... feeling empty...
Without you.

There are others who are trying to take your place...
But i wont give them the key.
Coz the key to my heart is with... you.
If you have truly given me up...
then please return the key.
Coz all my happiness, all my feelings, every emotion i had... are locked inside.
Till then, im a dead person... lifeless... no laughter...
I feel nothing...
Not even pain.
Not even joy.
Just emptiness...
Although i might be laughing loud and hearty...
But deep inside i am blue... torn...
My smile is my make up i wear since my break up with you...
And im stressing...
For the number of people i have hurt for your sake... is doubling each day
I cant bear to see them hurt...
I cant bear to see you hurt too
Im going to take all these pain alone
Im not letting anyone bear it with me... for me.

If life has no meaning anymore, shouldnt it be ended?

...

i just wanna die... *cuts wrist*

Friends

"Friends are like potatoes... you eat them, they die" (quoted from Jin Thai)

too bad they taste so good...

those are home-grown potatoes from my garden...

Amazing huh?

Wish friends could be grown like potatoes too. *sighs*