I was alone sitting on the steps outside your door
You weren't home and I've been through this too many times before
And we go on and on, round and round
It's like we can't break free

You're bringing me down
Now you got me on my knees
The first time around
You were so good to me
But now I'm out here in the cold
But just my own hands to hold
But where are you?...
Where are you?

Time goes but slow
Making my way through the words you said
And I didn't know
You were only playing with my head
But still we go on and on, round and round
It's time that we break free

You built me up
You made me believe
That I was the only one
That you'd ever need
And now I'm sitting here
And nobody cares but me

Stop bringing me down
Now you got me on my knees...
The first time around
You were so good to me...
But now I'm out here in the cold
With just my own hands to hold

Where Are You?

Writing my last letters...
Wondering whom should i send them to?
When im done, all things shall past.
And i shall be just a memory.

My mood swings are pretty bad the past few days...
Whenever life seems to be perfect, ill just fucked it all up again...
Whenever life is calm, ill just add more stress into it.
Why cant i leave things the way they were?
Why cant i just be like any other normal people roaming the streets about?
My moods are like indeterminate beams...
Not knowing the correct answer till you solve the equations.

If drawn a graph in time...
Its worse that the Andes...
Zig zags showing that my moods are statically indeterminate.
It goes all the way up till infinity ultimatum...
And then crashed to the deepest oceans...
Its like a tsunami in the Sahara...
Its a mystery.

I used to laugh and cry at the same time...
But now i know that laughter and cries are two separate things...
I learnt to differentiate both of them to a degree that im not smiling like a clown anymore.
I learn to break down in front of others.
Where is my steel frontier?
The ones i used to have when all hope was gone?
The ones i used to pretend everything was alright?

I feel hopeless, dejected and all alone...
I just want to go to the beaches and shout till my lungs sore...
I just wanna scream and thrash till my limbs tore...
If pain was something that can multiply...
I didnt have to go so far for an addition.
I would just have to subtract inch by inch...
Till the time ticks slow.

I was like that then...
But now never the same...
I learnt to open up...
Open up till my heart gets too vulnerable...
That every inch of solitude cuts deep into the veins.
It was something i never done before...
Not to anyone, but you.

I was happy and whole...
I was dreaming as my heads are in the clouds.
I was a completed jigsaw puzzle...
The missing pieces were all found.
With you, e = mc^2
I didnt have to look further...
Coz everywhere i go, all i see is you.

It was you who picked the pieces up...
When I was a broken soul...
And then glued me back together...
Returned to me what others stole.
It was you i find it hard to let go...
Coz i know itll never happen.
Ill always stay... always and forever...

Im tired from all the bloody assignments...
Im tired of all the fucking drama going about...
Im tired of the boycotting in the family...
Im tired of the superficial people around me...
Im tired of the hypocrisy...
Im tired of all the responsibilities that i have to carry on my shoulders...
Im tired of all the lies i have to make...
Im tired of all the lies i have to endure...
Im tired of all the tears that shed everytime you walk by...
Im tired of the necessary indulgence i have over food...
Im tired of my binge spending till im broke...
Im tired of my constant cravings for new things...
Im tired of going to university...
Im tired of my diarhoea minimum 3 times daily...
Im tired of my irritable bowel movement...
Im tired of making curry in the toilet...
Im tired of the unprocessed food that comes out with it...
Im tired of the boring tv shows on Astro...
Im tired of my silly car being underpowered...
Im tired of my childishness...
Im tired of being self-centered...
Im tired of the pain i have to go through every single day...
Im tired of Civil Engineering...
Im tired of living everyday having minimal financial support...
Im tired of being clumsy and bumps around...
Im tired of hurting myself unnecessarily...
Im tired of my black knees...
Im tired of my silly wedges...
Im tired of my wardrobe...
Im tired of my moronic laptop that is underrammed...
Im tired of all the hardworking asses around me...
Im tired of the intimidation...
Im tired of the pressure and stress...
Im tired of the nerdy lives around me...
Im tired of everything around me.
Im tired of life.

*Emo*

*slits wrist*

Its been a long, long journey...
So stay by my side.
When i walk through the hail, you're my guide.
When i grope in the darkness, i find in you light.
You are the laughter of my soul.
You are the songs i hum every time of the day.
Baby, im speechless for words.
I <3 U.

ps. dont read my blog at 5am in the morning bah... DWING!